


Urithiru's Preeminent Secret Society

by engineerwenlock



Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Book 03: Oathbringer Spoilers, Gen, Humor, The I Hate Amaram Club, at least i think its funny...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22378315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engineerwenlock/pseuds/engineerwenlock
Summary: Jasnah Kholin is invited to join a secret society in Urithiru.  It is... not what she expected.   Humorous drabble series.
Comments: 42
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EndlessGloaming](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndlessGloaming/gifts).



Jasnah re-read the note she’d found on her pillow as she stood outside the door indicated in the instructions in the note. 

“Brightness Kholin,” it began, “In light of your recent actions and legendary exploits, we would like to extend to you an invitation to join Urithiru’s preeminent secret society.”

The meeting was due to start in fifteen minutes, but Jasnah had arrived early on purpose. She picked the lock (how did this out-of-the-way room have a functional lock already?) and let herself into the room. By the dim light of a few spheres she’d brought with her, she could tell she’d just entered a fairly large room. She could make out tables and chairs in one half of the room and large objects, vaguely the shape of people on the other side. 

The tables and chairs looked innocuous enough, so Jasnah turned her attention to the corner with the mysterious figures. They turned out to be training dummies, common in the army camps for all manner of weapons practice. There was also a decent selection of knives and darts, with corresponding targets on the walls. But the targets were not the usual concentric circles. Instead they all featured drawings of - she held her spheres up for a better look - was that a man’s face?

Just then a noise at the door sent her scrambling for a place to hide. She quickly ducked behind a training dummy and stowed the spheres in her safepouch. A key rattled in the door, and it creaked open to reveal a group of mein Kholin blue uniforms, laden with boxes. They chattered merrily as they unpacked. One went around lighting the room by placing lighted spheres in special alcoves in the walls. Only, the room was tall and the alcoves were near the ceiling. And the man wasn’t using a ladder. He was... floating. This must be Bridge Four, the Windrunner’s group of squires. 

So this was a secret society of Radiants. Perhaps the Windrunners’ reputation as honorable protectors wasn’t as clean as they’d lead everyone to believe. Were they looking for an Elsecaller to do their dirty work?

Jasnah stepped out of her hiding place and straightened her havah. 

“Welcome, reina.” said a Herdazian man, “I see you’ve arrived early. Would you mind helping your cousin with the banner?” He gestured to a small stage at the other end of the room that held a podium. Renarin was removing a piece of cloth from a box. 

“Of course,” said Jasnah. If they weren’t going to say anything about her hiding place, she wouldn’t either. 

She helped Renarin hang the banner on two pegs in the wall. Then she stepped back to take a look at the banner. Maybe it offered her some clue about the secret society she’d been invited to join. 

Turns out it held more than a clue. Emblazoned on the banner, in fine women’s script were the words, “The I Hate Amaram Club.” Slightly smaller text on the next line down read, “Kaladin Stormblessed, President.”


	2. Chapter 2

Jasnah Kholin, for possibly the first time in her life, was stunned speechless. She knew the value of holding her tongue, but never before had she been so completely forsaken by the ability to think of something intelligent to say. So, she made her way to a table, brushed off a chair, assumed a stern expression, and sat down to observe. Renarin sat down next to her.

A few more Bridge Four members arrived, then other people started to trickle in. The Herdazian who had greeted Jasnah stood at the door, cheerfully welcoming everyone. They were a surprisingly diverse lot. Officers in Kholin, Aladar and Vamah colors. Footsoldiers. Scribes. Tradesmen. Sebarial’s mistress entered, followed by three servants carrying boxes full of food. Annoyingly, she took the seat across from Jasnah.

“I don’t know if we’ve been properly introduced, I’m Palona. We all heard about what you said to Amaram in the library and never before have we had a unanimous vote to admit someone who doesn’t meet the usual entry requirements.”

Jasnah asked, “The usual entry requirements?”

“Oh, right, you don’t know. Well, as you can see, this is the ‘I Hate Amaram’ club. Everyone in here has been wronged by Amaram in some way, or someone close to them has.”

“And that’s... how you get in?”

“Oh storms no!” said Palona, “You can’t just hate him in silence. You have to  _ do _ something about it. We started with the requirement to steal some of his belongings, but nobody could top her-” Palona pointed to a woman sitting across the room, wearing a low-cut gown and fingerless gloves.

“Is she a prostitute?” Jasnah asked. Her years of experience working with assassins gave her a fair amount of experience with less-than-savory characters, but they usually stayed in the shadows. 

“Yes,” Palona confirmed, “But that’s how she was able to steal a rather embarrassing pair of Amaram’s undergarments and hang them above the main entranceway to Urithiru.”

Jasnah smiled. She would never have come to this gathering had she known what to expect. She wondered idly who had been behind the cryptic message that had brought her here in the first place. Whoever it was certainly knew what they were about and, for once in her life, she was glad to have been outmaneuvered. 


End file.
